“Look at yourself… do you think she will like a nerd guy like you…? Be real Jiyong… you know you’re far from the guy that is suited for her…”
He could only look down… holding on to a piece of scented paper that he’s supposed to give to her that morning… failed to do so when his brother suddenly appeared and dragged him away from ‘her’ locker…
His eyes widen and gasped when his brother pulled the paper he was holding…
“Hyung… please…”
He mumbled… brows furrowed and hands were reaching to get back the letter he had wholehearted worked on last night…
A smirk formed on the side of his brother’s lips upon reading what’s inside the letter… while he could only look at his brother with a pleading look on his face… after reading, his brother turned to him with an unreadable smile on his face, holding the paper in his hand…
“Do you think if she see’s the man behind this letter… she would like him back…?”
He could only look at his brother… couldn’t speak a word for he doesn’t even know what to answer back… but looking at his brother’s expression… it seemed like he already knew what the answer to his own question…
“Just focus on your academic standing Jiyong… after all that’s the only thing you can be proud of…”
With that, his brother left him bringing with him his letter…such a coward to just stand there and watch as his brother claim the identity that’s supposed to be his…
--
“You’re mine alone…”
A soft moan escaped her lips… eyes twitched as she shifted herself to face the other side of the bed… her eyes slowly opened… brows furrowed and forehead creased for as soon as she woke up, a massive wave of pain struck her head…
She could only groan… shut her eyes tight as she lied on her back again and a hand reached to immediately massaged her forehead… she breathed deeply… continuously massaged her head, recollecting her thoughts from last night…
She knew she had been drinking with her friends… knew very well about the bar she was at last night… and when her thoughts processed something more… sounds of herself moaning from such pleasure rang inside her head… pigments of the sin she did last night… she slowly stopped from massaging her head…
Felt her bareness against the fabric of the blanket that was the only thing that was covering her… she gasped and slowly opened her eyes once again… the same cream colored ceiling from last night welcomed her sight…
Her lips parted, her forehead creased some more… slightly shook her head no, wanting herself to believe that it was all just a dream… but as she reached down to her blanket… felt her naked body just under it… her brows furrowed once again and a painful lump on her throat slowly formed…
She immediately sat herself up… but as she did… another pain struck her body… only to realize it was coming from between her legs…
“No…”
She finally managed to mumble… her hands immediately covered her mouth as the other continuously held on to the blanket to cover her body… tears started to form inside her eyes as fear started to creep up on her… with that, she anxiously looked around…
Found an empty space beside her… sheets were all disarrayed… as some stains from last night’s sin were all scattered on the fabrics of the bed she’s lying at… finding herself inside a luxurious suite… her mind screamed out that everything from was last night was all a reality…
Her lips started to quiver… tears started to stream down from her eyes for she couldn’t remember everything… only the scent of lavender… a man with a blonde colored hair lingered inside her mind… and feeling the continuous pain between her legs… she almost threw-up from such disgrace… she had lost her virginity to a man she doesn’t even know…
She struggled to pull herself out from the bed… seeing her clothes scattered around the floor added more to the horror in her… how could she be so careless…? She thought to herself… but everything was all too late for she won’t ever be able to bring back time and avoid the temptation that she had fallen into…
With rugged breathing and teary eyes… she endured the numbing pain in her lower body and went to collect her clothes… didn’t escaped her eyes to see the blotches of blood on the bed… with that, more tears came out from her eyes…
With trembling hands and body that’s likely about to pass out from too much exhaustion, she clothed herself back… grabbed her purse… and without looking back to the sinful sanctuary; she immediately left the suite…
“Ma’am are you okay...?”
A staff from the hotel asked her when she bumped into him… yet she continued with her fast tracks… not minding the alarming look from the people she passed by… she was able to hail a cab and go home…
Inside, she cried more, muffling it with the back of her hand… she scooted herself to the far end of her seat… checked her phone and saw she had a bunch of missed calls from her friend…
And as soon as she arrived to her pad… she immediately dragged herself to the bathroom… and once inside, her body slowly collapsed against the door…
“How could I be so careless…?”
She continuously cried… buried her face on her palms… disgrace… disgust and fear were all she could feel inside… her cries echoed in the four corners of her bathroom… for a while, she just sat on the cold tiles of the floor… dazed… tears continuously ran through the sides of her eyes…
With her blank mind… she began dragging herself inside the shower stall… let the cold water run through her still clothed self… drenching her clothes… she stood under the shower… a gasp escaped her lips after a while when memories of last night repeated in her mind… with that, she immediately scrubbed herself… roughly scrubbed herself not minding she would scratch herself…
One of her hands leaned on the glass wall of the stall… she looked down… saw the blood coming inside her now drenched shirt streamed down through her inner thighs… with that, her body collapsed once again… groaned in pain as soon as she hit the floor… her insides were still stinging… her body was all tired as if someone beaten her up for the whole day and the throbbing pain between her legs were enough for her to know that they didn’t just do it once…
Almost an hour had passed when she finally calmed herself… tears had already dried up… but still in a daze, she stood in front of the mirror… a hand came to cover her mouth as soon as she saw her reflection… a towel was wrapped around her body but it still didn’t cover up the clear red marks that were scattered on her pale flesh… around her neck… to her collar… trailing to every part of her body… he had marked her thoroughly…
Her other hand came to reach the clearest one on her right chest… and gasped upon feeling it warm against her finger… and as if automatically, her eyes closed…
“Jagiya…”
A familiar voice immediately welcomed her… with that, she shook her head and instantly opened her eyes…
“No… it’s just a little mistake… you won’t ever see him again Dara… never…”
She kept telling herself… despite the unexplainable feeling inside her chest… despite the racing of her heart whenever that voice will ring inside her head…
--
Covering herself with her blanket… she lied down on her bed for the whole day… not minding to eat… not minding the darkness inside her unit… letting the silence envelop her… she was still caught up in her own blank world… she wasn’t even sleeping… just continuously watched the wall of her room with her dead eyes, she hugged herself with her blanket…
The constant ringing of her phone finally woke her up from her trance…
With that, she tiredly pushed herself up and reached for her purse… a small piece of paper fell when she got her phone… not noticing it at first, she leaned back on the headboard of her bed and answered the other line…
“Dara-ah..! Finally you picked up..! I was so worried about you..! You suddenly went missing last night and you wouldn’t answer your phone… what the hell happened to you..?”
It was Bom … as much as she wanted to blame her best friend for inviting her that night… that her ‘playing around’ went overboard… even costing her, her virginity… yet she can’t… for right in the first place… it was her fault…
She bit her lower lip… tried to suppress her tears… yet it didn’t cover her up enough from her friend who knows her for years…
“Dara… are you okay…? Where are you..? Huh…? Oh God please don’t scare me like this…”
She gulped down the lump on her throat before speaking…
“I’m… I’m fine… just having a hangover from last night… I’m right here in my house… don’t worry…”
She heard her friend sigh on the other line… listened to Bom for a while… not really understanding what her friend was talking about for her mind was again back from being blank…
“Bom…”
She cut her friend… Bom immediately stopped… really worried about her friend’s strange silence…
“Can we meet tomorrow…? I have to tell you something…” she almost mumbled…
“Why..? What’s wrong..? Do you want me to go in there right now…? You’re really scaring me now Dara-ah…”
“No, I’m fine… really… just meet me tomorrow arasso…”
“Oh… okay… call me if you need something… I’ll call Minho to check on you…”
She let out a sigh as soon as she hanged up her phone… in the end, she couldn’t keep it to herself… at least let her friend know… after all, Bom has been like a sister to her… knows everything about her… and this time wouldn’t be different… she just want to let out the guilt inside of her… let out the heaviness inside her and she’s sure Bom knows what to do…
Noticing the little paper at the side of her bed, she curiously reached for it…
Eyes widen… felt shivers directly ran down her spine and lips parted in surprise upon reading what’s inside…
I’ll be back before the last mark on your body disappears…
Saranghae Jagiya…
She immediately crumpled the paper in her hand and threw it somewhere across her room… her breathing went heavy… and tears started to form inside her eyes once again as fear slowly crept inside her again…
She turned to her phone… dialed the number of the guy she least wanted to call that day… setting the guilt she’s feeling inside… she waited for the other line to pick up as she lay down on her bed again…
“Oppa…”
She said weakly… the other line took a while before speaking…
“Ah yes… Dara-ah…? Hon… what made you call…?”
A little smile slowly curved on her lips as she finally felt the comfort after hearing her lover’s voice…
“Oppa… can you come here right now…?”
A groan was heard from the other line followed by a sigh…
“Uhmm… I’m sorry… I’m kinda busy right now…”
And the smile on her lips slowly vanished after hearing it… she knows he’s a busy man… after all he’ll be the next to carry on to her Dad’s company… but she just need him tonight… just to make sure that she’s safe…
“Dara-ah…?”
“Ah… yes… I’m sorry for bothering you… it’s okay…”
“Say… your dad is asking me about the place of the reception… I have two places in mind but I want to ask you first…-“
It took her a while to answer… closed her eyes for a bit before letting out a sigh…
“Uhm… I’m fine to whatever you choose…”
Her voice stayed weak yet as if the man from the other line couldn’t feel a tinge of it…
“Okay… oh by the way… Jiyong will be coming back home already this Friday… I’m sure you’re excited to see him right…? Well he’s not really supposed to be back early but he also has a project in here that he needed to check on…-”
His next words were all blurred in her hearing… for right after hearing that Jiyong will be back, something inside her jumped… her breath went caught up in her throat as the memories of the guy from last night suddenly hit her mind…
She immediately shook her head no… feeling ridiculous for thinking that way to her soon to be brother-in-law… with that, she tried to focus on her fiancé’s words…
“Oh… hon… I need to go now… I still have a meeting with your dad… I’ll call you okay…”
Before she could even answer him back… he had already hanged up the phone…
She could only blink her eyes in sadness… clasp her lips together as her hand that’s been holding her phone limply fell beside her face… she shook her head once again… telling herself over and over again that everything will be fine… tears finally escaped her eyes… first time feeling so helpless and scared yet the man she needed was not there to take that feelings away…
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